Spontaneous Combustion
by Ryeloza
Summary: Tom and Lynette learn to push each other's buttons.
1. Find the Sweet Spot

**Disclaimer: **Absolutely not mine. I'm just doing this for fun. Something needs to hold me over until the 26th.

**Story Summary: **Tom and Lynette learn how to push each other's buttons.

**Spontaneous Combustion**

A story by **Ryeloza**

**One: Find the Sweet Spot**

"What are you doing? Tom?"

"Shh!" he hissed. Then, as he was quickly learning that it was futile to order Lynette to do anything _sans_ explanation, he clapped a hand over her mouth for good measure and pulled the door shut behind them. Now firmly ensconced inside the closet, Tom backed up as far as he could, blindly feeling around for a light as he went. His search stopped the moment he felt Lynette's tongue traipse over the creases of his palm. Pulling her flush against his chest, he murmured, "That's not the most convincing way to get me to let you go."

Lynette let out a huffy, if repressed, sigh and to Tom's great regret withdrew her tongue. Reluctantly, he dropped his hand and immediately she blurted out, "What the hell, Tom?"

"What?" He squeezed her a little tighter, burying his nose in her hair for a moment. "God, you smell good."

"Will you get a grip? We're at a party!"

"We're in a closet."

"A _work function_. What if someone catches us in here?"

Tom bent slightly so he could lower his mouth to her ear; he kissed her gently before he said, "I really couldn't care less."

"Tom…"

"Come on, Lynette. There are like a hundred people out there. No one is going to notice if we disappear for a little while."

"I can think of a few people."

Tom rolled his eyes, grateful that Lynette couldn't see him, and slowly began to kiss her neck. They'd only slept together three times, but Tom had already begun to catalogue the ways guaranteed to make her melt. Unfortunately, most of those involved her being naked—something she was apparently only willing to do in the privacy of the bedroom. Slowly he loped down to her shoulder, biting her gently. "I'm not sure you understand how hard this is for me."

"Oh I'm beginning to feel it."

He grinned, taking the innuendo as a good sign, and let his hands drift to her hips to pull her closer. "Working with you all day and then we have to come to this damn party. That's adding four whole extra hours to the amount of time until I see you naked again."

"You're ridiculous. We've only been dating two weeks."

"Yeah, but I've been imagining you naked for six."

"We met six weeks ago."

"And?" Tom moved his mouth to the back of her neck. "Why do you think I was staring at you in that elevator?"

Lynette tilted her head forward and made a little humming sound that Tom knew meant he was on the right track. He grinned and slowly began to make his way around toward her pulse point. As Lynette struggled to respond, he pressed his tongue firmly against her and then kissed the same spot.

"You…Mmm…You weren't…"

"Yes?" he mumbled.

"Stripping me naked in your mind."

"Oh no? You don't think I was imagining ripping your clothes right off of you…pushing you against the wall of that elevator…fucking you until you couldn't even remember your name…?" He punctuated his dirty talk by sucking hard on her neck and she moaned loudly. "We're gonna need to have a ton of sex before we even come close to matching the number of times I've fantasized about you."

"Well when you put it that way…"

Tom kissed her. "…Just can't resist."

She quickly proved how true that was.


	2. Go Alone with His Schemes

**Disclaimer: **It's not mine. Never was. Never will be.

**A/n: **I needed a break from the angst. Enjoy!

**Spontaneous Combustion**

A story by **Ryeloza**

**Two: Go Along with His Schemes**

"Are you insane?"

Tom laughed, but tried to hold back the sound, resulting in a strange, sputtering chuckle that made him sound a little drunk. Lynette turned to cast a disparaging look his way, but he cut her off, leaning closer to whisper, "If I'm insane then what does it say about the person following me?'

"I'm not following you. You're pushing me."

"Potato, potahto."

Lynette rolled her eyes, but stayed quiet as they slipped past Mrs. Huber's house. Even if she was a fool for going along with this she wasn't dumb enough to draw the attention of the nosiest woman on the street. She could already imagine the hubbub this would cause if they were actually caught, but she couldn't decide whether it would be better or worse than the first impression they'd already made. Where did breaking into a neighbor's yard fall compared to screaming at one another in public?

As they stepped into the Youngs' back yard, Tom dropped his hands from her hips and stepped away from her, apparently unconcerned that she might leave. It was a little irksome that he took her willingness for granted, and she crossed her arms in an effort to convey her irritability. "All right," she hissed, as Tom really wasn't paying her any mind. "Do you mind telling me what we're doing here now?"

Tom continued to ignore her. He'd wandered over to the fence surrounding the pool and was staring at it with an unnatural curiosity. Just as she decided that maybe she would leave just to prove him wrong, Tom jumped up and rather gracefully scrambled over the fence. Horrified, Lynette rushed after him and stared at him through the chain-link. "What are you doing?" she groaned. "You have completely lost your mind!"

"Probably," said Tom, toeing off his shoes and undoing his belt. "Come on."

"No I will not 'come on'!"

Tom walked back toward the fence, reaching a finger through and crooking it around the belt loop of her jeans. "What's the big deal?" he crooned. "Paul and Mary Alice are out of town. They're never gonna know."

"Have you met the people who live on this street? If you think the Van de Kamps won't call the police then you're sadly mistaken."

"It's the middle of the night. Everyone is asleep."

Lynette shook her head and took a step back, but to her chagrin, Tom just shrugged and pulled off his t-shirt. "Suit yourself," he said, unbuttoning his fly and shimmying out of his pants. A second later he was standing butt naked in their neighbors' yard, but she barely had time to appreciate the view before he dove into the water. She watched him do a couple of laps, steadfastly trying to convince herself that she didn't do these kinds of things, and then gave up pretending she was above it. With a long-suffering sigh, she started to climb the fence.

"I can't believe I'm having your children," she muttered as she jumped down onto the pavement. Tom, who had turned onto his back and casually floated toward her, grinned cheekily.

"The water is fantastic," he said. "You thinking about coming in?"

"Shut up." She pulled off her tank top and tossed it aside before she noticed that Tom had put his arms on the side of the pool and was watching her with sudden and undivided attention. Seizing the opportunity for revenge, she slowly undid the fly of her jeans and then stretched her arms over her head as she stepped out of her flip flops. She smiled at him, lowering her arms and rolling her shoulders, before teasingly going for the clasp of her bra only to bypass it and pull her hair out of a ponytail instead. Slowly she turned to the side, standing in profile before him, and said, "Is it just me, or have my breasts gotten bigger since we got into the second trimester?"

Tom looked at her with something akin to unbridled lust and she fought to keep a grin in check. "I'm not sure," he said, stuttering a bit and clearing his throat to cover it. "I think you need to take off your bra."

Lynette shrugged and did as he said, slowly letting it drift from her body until it dropped at her feet. "Well?" she asked, arching her back. "What do you think?"

"I think you better get in this pool. Now."

"Hmm," she hummed. She moved her hands to her hips, pulling the fabric down just a bit before pausing and turning to look at him. "Are you sure the water's just right? I don't want to make all this effort if it's freezing."

"You definitely don't have to worry about that."

"I'm sure I won't," she purred. She finally pulled down her pants, stepping out of them and kicking them away. Standing before him in nothing but her panties, she stepped right to the edge of the pool and crouched down in front of him. "You know, I'm really afraid we might get caught."

"We won't."

She bit her lip, faking an innocence that he could only buy when he was this horny. "Are you sure?"

"God, I will swear on anything you want if you just get in the pool. Please."

"Well," she said, standing and slowly tugging off her underwear. "Since you said please…"

Somehow she managed not to scream as Tom reached up and pulled her into the pool.


	3. Tease

**Disclaimer: **Gee wiz, it's not mine.

**A/n: **I was in the mood for something fun tonight. Enjoy!

**Spontaneous Combustion**

A story by **Ryeloza**

**Three: Tease**

"Let's play a game tonight."

Tom squeezed Lynette's hips, rubbing his thumbs lightly up and down her lower back, and chuckled into the curve of her neck. "What kind of game?" he mumbled.

"Mmm," she laughed, reaching up to put in one of her earrings. Tom tilted his head slightly to watch her in the mirror, quite aware that her eyes were already glinting dangerously. He loved her like this—all happiness and flirting; so alive. It made him smile. "I bet that I can make you want to leave dinner tonight before you can make me want to leave."

"I don't want to go to dinner."

"It's Susan and Karl's anniversary. It was nice of them to invite us."

Tom let the tip of his tongue dance up along her neck to the back of her ear, where he paused and murmured, "I'm getting the impression that Susan is a bit of an attention whore. Anniversaries are private."

"How would you know? We haven't had one yet."

"Wait until we do. Can you say all day sex-a-thon?"

Lynette rolled her eyes. "No. And neither should you."

Tom ignored her and slipped his hands up to her stomach, splaying them over her now prominent baby bump. For a moment he marveled at the feeling of their kids inside of her before quietly asking, "So you're giving me permission to turn you on in public?"

She turned, leaning back against the dresser, and put her hands on his chest. He tried very hard to ignore how her thumbs scraped over his nipples, though he was well aware that she was doing it on purpose. He could tell by the mischievous look in her eyes that she was in a playful mood—she'd be laughing and teasing him all night long. "I'm already turned on. I'm giving you permission to drive me over the edge."

"At dinner?"

"Subtly is a fine art."

Tom stepped closer, pushing himself against her and leaning very far into her personal space. Slowly, he dipped down so his mouth was just inches from hers. "I'm not a subtle guy."

"Oh no?"

"No."

"That's too bad. I was thinking bathroom sex at the restaurant if you pushed me far enough. But no one else can know."

His mind spun with the clear picture of pinning her against the bathroom door, pushing into her, and screwing her senseless. Kissing her so her screams would be lost in his mouth while she dug her nails into his back, a contrast to how soft and wet and warm she'd be… Lost, he leaned forward and kissed her hard; brushed his tongue against her lower lip until she opened her mouth and welcomed him in. He pressed into her, tugged her closer, but it still wasn't close enough. It never could be close enough.

She pulled away from him, her eyes heavy with lust and her lips swollen—he only wanted her more—and gently ran her thumb over his lips to smooth away the lipstick. "We need to go."

"No, we really don't."

She grinned. "I'm going to have fun with you tonight."

"Tease."

"Mmm," she hummed in agreement, softly kissing him one more time before stepping away. "And you love it."

"Yeah. I really do."


	4. Know When to Take the Lead

**Disclaimer: ** Nope. Not mine.

**Spontaneous Combustion**

A story by **Ryeloza**

**Four: Know When to Take the Lead**

"I don't think this is a good idea."

Tom laughed. Not his normal laugh either, but that low, deep chuckle that only spilled out of him when he was trying to convince her to do something sexy. They'd gotten to the point that she reacted as soon as she heard it—some sort of Pavlovian response that made her stupidly agreeable to whatever he said or did. Fortunately, he didn't seem to realize this. "This is a great idea. Can you get your leg over my shoulder?"

"Do I look like a Russian gymnast?"

"Don't pretend you're not flexible. Come on. Hop up on the counter. It'll be easier."

"Easier for who?" She gave him a skeptical look that he ignored in favor of taking hold of her and lifting her up to the counter. "You know if you really want to try something different I can blindfold you and go to town on your body." She rubbed her hand up and down his chest and gave him her most seductive look, but Tom's hand was already under her knee, urging her leg up. If she had known the alcohol was going to make him this ambitiously horny...

Tom maneuvered her leg up over his shoulder and she gasped as he stepped forward and pressed into her. She was so open and he was so deep inside of her and why the hell had she said this was a bad idea?

"See?" He leaned in, kissing her hard and with more tongue than usual. Drunk Tom, she thought stupidly, was just full of surprises.

"Mmm," she managed to moan.

Tom's hands drifted around her, coming to rest on her ass, and before she knew what was happening, he stepped away from the counter, holding her tightly against him. She pulled back and managed to gasp, "No! I don't think—" It was as far as she got. Tom lost his center of gravity and in a sudden, terrifying moment, tripped backwards. He hit the floor hard and she landed on top of him, smacking the heel of her foot on the linoleum and instinctually throwing her hands out to keep from falling backwards.

"Oh God," he moaned, writhing rather overdramatically beneath her. "You broke my penis."

Despite her very real fear that he had actually hurt his head, Lynette burst out laughing. "Sweetie—"

"Ugh."

"I told you that this was a bad idea."

"Do you have to rub that in right now? Oww!"

Lynette rolled her eyes, and gingerly started to climb off of him, but Tom's hands flew to her hips, holding her down. "Where are you going?"

"I broke your penis, remember?"

Tom whimpered, and she leaned down to give him a little kiss. "I think that the moment has passed," she whispered.

"For men the moment never passes." He ran his hand through her hair and kissed her again. "Maybe we can try that blindfold thing you were talking about instead."

Lynette nodded, fighting the smile that was most certainly at his expense. "Sure baby. Whatever you say."


	5. Act on Impulse

**Disclaimer: ** It's still not mine.

**A/n: **I felt like doing something goofy tonight. I hope y'all enjoy. And please continue with the requests; I'm working on them already and having a ton of fun.

**Spontaneous Combustion**

A story by **Ryeloza**

**Five: Act on Impulse**

Tom was bored.

Rex was hosting some charity hoopla to raise money for some disease Tom had never heard of, and at Bree's behest, they'd bought two places at one of the tables. The fact that the rest of the neighborhood had been hoodwinked into coming as well didn't help, because no one—not even Karl—was doing anything to cut the searing boredom of the self-congratulatory, pompous speeches that doctor after doctor seemed determined to make. All Tom knew was that he would have rather donated the money and skipped the dinner than to have listened to even one minute of this festival of bullcrap.

The first tenure of his tedium was spent tracking who drank the most (Bree was up three glasses of wine to Karl), but when Lynette slipped off to the bathroom at one point, he took advantage of her absence to steal a pen and notepad from her purse. He was eternally grateful that she compulsively kept these things with her, even at a function where she was more likely to need an IV of coffee to keep her awake.

And that was how it all started. He wasn't thinking. He wasn't trying to be clever. He was just bored, plain and simple, and he'd never done well in situations where his attention wasn't focused. Aimlessly, he jotted down _Who knew doctors were SO dull?_, folded the note, and set it at Lynette's place. When she returned a minute later, she glanced from the note to him with a cautiously raised eyebrow and then held out her hand for the pen. He passed it over gladly; he'd known by that glazed over expression on her face that she was as bored as he was.

_At least you can drink_.

Tom smirked, not stupid enough to point out that he'd stopped drinking about an hour ago because he had to drive home. She was too pregnant now to get behind the wheel comfortably. Saying that wouldn't go over well, though. _Doesn't help. Distract me._

_Isn't that what I'm doing?_

_Well your boobs do look particularly fantastic tonight. _

Lynette snorted, earning a dirty look from Rex that she completely ignored. _Don't get any ideas, buddy. We're still a good two hours from getting the hell out of here._

_I already have some ideas. They involve less clothing and no doctors._

_Stop it. Do I have to remind you that I've been perpetually horny lately? You're not helping._

_You don't have to remind me. Your nipples are doing it for you._

Lynette didn't look down to see if he was telling the truth; she didn't shrug into her jacket to cover up the evidence. He loved her all the more for that. _Fine. You want to go there? You're choosing a dangerous path._

Tom smiled, brushing the back of her hand with his fingers as he took the pen from her. They used to play these games all the time; dangerous or not, the exciting nature of the flirtation won out. _I want to put my mouth on your breasts. Suck your nipples until they're rock hard._

_You've already got them there._

_I'm going to keep teasing them with my tongue until you're arching your back. Begging me for more._

_You're going to have scratches up and down your back from my fingernails. I'll keep trying to pull you closer._

_Just going to keep teasing you. Running my hands down to your thighs, pushing them open and stroking you, but never touching you right where you want me._

_I'm going to tangle my hands in your hair, pull you up so I can kiss you. Suck one of your fingers into my mouth and remind you just how deep I can take it._

Tom paused, staring at her hard and trying very hard to ignore the glint in her eyes and the obvious flush in her cheeks. There was something very devilish and purposeful in the way she licked her lips, her tongue darting out to tease him with just a hint of its magnificent capabilities, but beneath the controlled movement, he could sense that she wasn't faring much better than he was. Tauntingly, he reached out and put his hand on her knee under the table, and her eyes shut for a second as he jotted his next note.

_And then I'm going to remind you just what my tongue can do to make you scream. _

Lynette's hand shook just slightly as she read the note, and seeing her so unhinged nearly made him lose it too. There was nothing sexier than seeing her give up all that control; nothing more exciting than knowing he was the only one who could make her that crazy. Slowly, he rubbed his hand up and down her thigh as she wrote something. When she finished, she folded the note in half and handed it over.

_I want you to fuck me. Right now._

His eyes widened in surprise, and he glanced at her with a questioning look in his eyes. She just nodded, the slightest indication that she was serious, and his hand clenched into a fist around the piece of paper. Without thinking, he stood up and then immediately sat back down when he remembered the obvious way his pants were now tented. Lynette pressed her hand to her mouth to suppress a laugh, and he silently groaned. After a moment, Lynette scribbled something else down.

_Just wait until they give this jackass a standing ovation. We'll sneak out to the car. That's about as long as I'll be able to wait before I force you to take me right on the table._

Tom took a shuddery breath, and glanced back at the stage, praying for the moment doctor windbag would finally shut the hell up.


	6. Indulge Him

**Disclaimer: **Is not now, has never been, and never will be mine.

**Spontaneous Combustion**

A story by **Ryeloza**

**Six: Indulge Him**

Tom's finger traced her hairline behind her ear, down to the back of her neck and then dipped to draw curlicues along her neck. The movement woke her slowly, a smile playing at the corner of her lips before she even opened her eyes. As atypical as it was, she knew exactly where this gentle wake-up was headed, and it was definitely preferable to Tom's usual less-than-subtle morning moves. Most of the time, she shook him awake, and after a lot of grumbling, he rolled over and tried to get in her pants. His track record there wasn't particularly impressive.

Still, even with this extra effort, the odds seemed against him. She'd been up half the night talking to her sister—Lydia had shown up unexpectedly after a fight with her boyfriend and it had taken hours to calm her down—and Tom had spent the evening holed up in the bedroom. He'd only met Lydia once, and he didn't seem eager to repeat the experience; the second he heard her pounding on the door, he'd disappeared. It had been a long, tiresome night, and Lynette wasn't so sure she wanted to wake up early just to have sex.

Tom snuggled closer to her (she could already feel him pressing against her ass, ready to go), and gently kissed her ear. One of his hands slipped under her tank top, but he surprised her by not going straight to her breasts. Instead he simply ran his fingers over her stomach, his touch marvelously gentle and intensely arousing all at once.

"Good morning, sexy."

It seemed useless to pretend she was asleep when she obviously wasn't, but at the same time, she could very easily slip back to unconsciousness if he just left her alone. She settled for a noncommittal, "Mmm."

"I had a dream about you last night." He moved his lips directly under her ear and then down her neck to her shoulder. "Gave me some ideas."

"Uh-huh."

He didn't act at all perturbed by her lack of response. If anything, he seemed to take it as a challenge. His hand slid from her stomach down to her thigh, stroking from the hem of her shorts almost down to her knee. "I've been waiting all night to be inside of you. So warm and wet and perfect. I want to feel you around me."

Lynette turned her head, finally opening her eyes and raising a hand to his cheek. "You're turning on the charm this morning."

"Is it working?"

"I haven't decided yet."

Tom grinned. His hand, which had stilled on her leg, moved to the waistband of her shorts and slowly tugged them down. She sucked in a breath, waiting for her underwear to follow, but Tom simply laid his hand on top of her, lightly stroking his thumb back and forth over her panties. "You know, if you're going to sneak into my dreams, then you really should follow through in the morning."

"Funny, I don't remember choosing to invade your mind."

"Baby," he groaned, voice down in that deep, rough register that she loved, "you should know that you're already in my head twenty-four hours a day."

"Oh really?"

"Mm-hmm." He bent and kissed her—lips, cheeks, neck, down to her chest—the scratch of his unshaven chin contrasting beautifully with the softness of his lips. "I'm not going to be able to get through the day unless you indulge me now."

"This sounds like a problem that you could definitely get through solo," she teased. Tom shook his head, lips grazing over the swell of her breasts.

"This is a team effort. And, you know, I'm not really buying the indifference."

"It's exhaustion."

Tom slipped his fingers under the elastic of her underwear, touching her right where the slight ache had formed between her legs. As much as she wanted to keep playing coy, it was impossible to deny that she was turned on. "See," said Tom, "you can't fool me."

"So you're saying I should just give in."

"You're really killing the romance here."

Lynette laughed, tangling her fingers in his short hair and tugging him back up to kiss her again. "Sorry, babe. It's seven in the morning. On a Saturday."

"You know I'm in love with you any time of any day, right?"

Her eyes softened, breath catching in the back of her throat, and she gave him another tender kiss. The man had a way with words; an undeniably, fantastically amazing way with words.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, brushing her hair away from her forehead. There was a funny, childish hope in his eyes that made her feel like she was falling in love with him all over again. Suddenly, she didn't feel quite so exhausted.

"I think you're about to get laid."

Tom tutted, shaking his head in a fond way and kissing the tip of her nose. "You really need to work on your pick up lines, honey. Where's the romance? Where's the affection?"

Lynette reached down and grasped him through his pants, squeezing him firmly. Tom's eyes rolled back, and he groaned. "Okay," he muttered. "That works too."

"I thought it might."

Tom wrapped his arms around her and rolled over until she was settled on top of him. Stripping off her shirt, she realized that even she had to admit it: every once in awhile, indulgence wasn't so bad.


End file.
